I just wanted to share this book I came across some time ago as a free download on an app many moons ago. It’s The Duties of Parents by JC Ryle. There’s a lot of good common sense and wisdom to be found here. Two notable quotes for me:
Love is one grand secret of successful training. Anger and harshness may frighten, but they will not persuade the child that you are right; and if he sees you often out of temper, you will soon cease to have his respect. A father who speaks to his son as Saul did to Jonathan (1 Sam. xx. 30), need not expect to retain his influence over that son’s mind. Try hard to keep up a hold on your child’s affections. It is a dangerous thing to make your children afraid of you. (emphasis mine)
Some parents and nurses have a way of saying, “Naughty child,” to a boy or girl on every slight occasion, and often without good cause. It is a very foolish habit. Words of blame should never be used without real reason.
I’ve read this a few times now and I find it such a good source of advice, and as with many parenting books, humbling too! Unlike many parenting books though, I didn’t feel hopeless after reading it, I just want to strive to do better each day for them, holistically. Check it out, just search with your favourite search engine and lots of free copies in different formats should show up.